Changes In Relationships

The uni­verse is a net­work of rela­tions. What was once thought to be absolute is always sub­ject to evo­lu­tion and rene­go­ti­a­tion. The com­plete truth about the world is not gras­pable in any sin­gle point of view, but only resides in the total­ity of sev­eral or many dis­tinct views.”

This was a quote by Jus­tus Buch­ler, Phi­los­o­phy pro­fes­sor at Colum­bia University.

If this is true of the uni­verse, I thought, how would this apply to rela­tion­ships? And it did per­fectly. Let me rephrase it in rela­tion­ship language:

Rela­tion­ships are net­works of con­ver­sa­tions. What was once thought to be absolute is always sub­ject to evo­lu­tion and rene­go­ti­a­tion. The com­plete truth about rela­tion­ships is not gras­pable in any sin­gle point of view, but only resides in the total­ity of sev­eral or many dis­tinct views.

I often say that your rela­tion­ship is as good as your last con­ver­sa­tion. This may or may not be true, but it helps if you think it is. You may be more present and alert to the con­stant changes and fluc­tu­a­tions of cir­cum­stances and reac­tions from your part­ner. You will also learn to self reflect more often and have a bet­ter grasp of the real­ity and the feel­ings and true inten­tions of your partner.

Never under­es­ti­mate the power of con­text within which opin­ions and inter­pre­ta­tions are formed. Con­text IS deci­sive. Some behav­iors may be inter­preted quite dif­fer­ently in dif­fer­ent con­texts. This may influ­ence the health of a rela­tion­ship from one day to the next.

As you can see, there is no such thing as a sta­tic rela­tion­ship. It always changes, moves and fluc­tu­ates. A rela­tion­ship is bet­ter viewed as a verb rather than a noun. I believe that being agile and aware of the inevitable con­stant changes in a rela­tion­ship will make you a bet­ter per­son. Aware­ness is the first step to enlight­en­ment. This may be a rea­son good enough to take 100% respon­si­bil­ity for your rela­tion­ship. What do you think?

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May 20, 2012

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Category: Awareness, How to

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