“The universe is a network of relations. What was once thought to be absolute is always subject to evolution and renegotiation. The complete truth about the world is not graspable in any single point of view, but only resides in the totality of several or many distinct views.”
This was a quote by Justus Buchler, Philosophy professor at Columbia University.
If this is true of the universe, I thought, how would this apply to relationships? And it did perfectly. Let me rephrase it in relationship language:
Relationships are networks of conversations. What was once thought to be absolute is always subject to evolution and renegotiation. The complete truth about relationships is not graspable in any single point of view, but only resides in the totality of several or many distinct views.
I often say that your relationship is as good as your last conversation. This may or may not be true, but it helps if you think it is. You may be more present and alert to the constant changes and fluctuations of circumstances and reactions from your partner. You will also learn to self reflect more often and have a better grasp of the reality and the feelings and true intentions of your partner.
Never underestimate the power of context within which opinions and interpretations are formed. Context IS decisive. Some behaviors may be interpreted quite differently in different contexts. This may influence the health of a relationship from one day to the next.
As you can see, there is no such thing as a static relationship. It always changes, moves and fluctuates. A relationship is better viewed as a verb rather than a noun. I believe that being agile and aware of the inevitable constant changes in a relationship will make you a better person. Awareness is the first step to enlightenment. This may be a reason good enough to take 100% responsibility for your relationship. What do you think?