After I say, “Give him sex whenever he wants it,” I probably have nothing else to add. But WAIT, there is a little more to it although not nearly as much as a woman* would require for her happiness.
The natural instinct of men* is to “dominate.” That’s where it all starts. Men want to be decision makers and in charge, although the reality is that women always are. Men just don’t know it on a conscious level. If you do not handle it right your man may become either openly or passively aggressive. He is physically stronger and his last resort is to use force. Be that as it may, you need to play a woman’s game. You are a woman; you should instinctively know how to do it. Playing a power game with a man is not a good idea.
Let him be in charge
So, to make your man happy you need to give him the illusion that he is in charge. This should be very easy to do because men LOVE helping women and solving problems. (Have you noticed how men are not so good at just listening? Men offer you solutions and help when you don’t even need it nor ask for it.) Start appreciating his enthusiasm and sense of responsibility for your problems as well as his eagerness to help you solve them. That’s how he expresses his love. He does not necessarily want to “fix” you. He owns your problems.
Men love and are proud of being able to provide for and support their woman, which cannot be said for women who really hate being the breadwinner of the family.
Give him his own space, physical as well as mental
Physically he needs his “cave,” his space where he can be undisturbed doing his own thing. This may be a workshop, garage, office, a den or a corner in the home that he can call his own where he “reigns supreme.” He should be able to do whatever he wants in that space: sort out his collections, make something, read, write, watch football, or just do nothing.
Mental space is also very important. It may come as a surprise to you but men often think of NOTHING. They need to do that occasionally. So do not force a conversation if he does not want to have one NOW. He’ll come back to it when he is ready.
Learn to take what a man says at face value. He means what he says. Stop looking for hidden meanings as to what comes out of his mouth. When he says that he is busy and cannot talk to you now, it does not mean that he does not love you. It means “he is busy and that he cannot talk to you now.”
Too simple for you? Yes, that is the reality about men. They are VERY SIMPLE, for better or for worse. Also, men do not express their emotions as much as women do. Men can control their thoughts and their feelings, but it does not mean that they do not have them. It is a 50,000 year-old survival strategy. Try not to question it and make him into an overly sensitive man. Do not try to turn him into a perfect hairy woman. One, you will not succeed, but if you do, he’ll change just to please you. Two, if you succeed even partially, you will not like what you have.
As much as women are about security, mostly emotional security that is, men are about respect. Notwithstanding the fact that adults should earn respect and not be given it freely, there are some areas where your man will love you and respect you back if you show respect for his interests and hobbies, as well as support him socially.
In other words, do not put down his interest in motorcycles, his gun and knife collection, cars, sports, or even ballet. He loves his interests and if you ask him why, he may even be eager to explain it to you at length and in detail, if you have the patience to listen. If you do not respect his interests he will withdraw, resent you, hide it from you etc., which obviously would make him very unhappy.
If you respect him and are supportive of him in public, among friends and family, he will interpret it as the purest form of love on your part. “Praise in public, criticize in private,” as the adage goes.
If you want to perpetuate the attraction in your relationship, keep the gap between femininity and masculinity as wide as possible. If a woman adopts too many male characteristics and a man vice versa, the roles may reverse, attraction will evaporate to be replaced by either conflict or indifference. No one relishes the prospects of this happening.
These are characteristics which apply to most mentally healthy men. Of course, there are individual differences, but do not assume that your man is so completely different that most of the above do not apply to him. If that is the case, he may be a woman, or he may be reluctant to exercise his “manliness” with you. Consider that he may be trying to please you too much.
*Note: When I say a man and a woman, I mean male and female energy and natural, genetic characteristics. (I talk about it at some length in The Gameless Relationship.) Every human being has both characteristics. Men have more male and women have more female, and that can somewhat vary from person to person and situation to situation.