We talk a lot about love in relationships as being the most important ingredient without which a relationship cannot be sustained. So, we always talk about how we want to be loved more, how the love was lost, how to regain love and put the “spark” back in our relationship. We think that somehow that feeling of love or a loving feeling should always be present and only then we would know that our relationship is OK. When a relationship is breaking up there seems to be a simultaneous loss of love, or loss of love precedes the break up. We treat love as a “thing” that can somehow be lost. If it can be lost, then we think it can be gained as well. People who use The Relationship Saver are always on the side where their partner’s love for them was lost and they want their partner to regain it. They live in a state of fear that they will not be able to get their partner to regain their love for them although they “love“ them “with all their hart.” No one notices the contradiction and impossibilities in this kind of reasoning, or rather wishful thinking: love and fear don’t mix, like oil and water.
First we must understand that that elusive “love” is a state of mind and it is much bigger than a simple feeling. You can only receive love if you are able to give it. There is no such a thing as a limited supply of love. You cannot share love. Love is not a pie so when you give two slices to one person there is none left for another. When you love, everyone and everything receives all your love all the time. You do not have to withhold love for one person in order to have “enough love” for another person that you love. Love has no bounds. You are either in a state of love or in the state of fear.
If you are saving “your love” for one person or thing, you are being in a state of fear, which eliminates love. Love is much bigger than a feeling for one person. Love starts with the acceptance of reality itself. Accepting reality for what it is and not what you think it “should” be is the first step to experiencing the state of love. You cannot love one person and not love other people and the world itself. So, by now you might have noticed that the kind of love I am talking about is unconditional love. And, yes, that is the only love there is. Whenever you have a reason for loving you may be sure that it is not love. It most likely is a need. Ask yourself why you love your partner. Is it because he is good to you, strong, handsome, good father, or is it because she is beautiful, supportive, good mother? Now ask yourself what would happen if your partner loses those qualities or stops doing thinks that you love him for. Your love will most certainly disappear. We can safely conclude that your love is not unconditional, but you were getting what you needed and you were grateful to your partner for it. Your partner satisfied your needs and that’s why you “loved” him. And, fear of losing it was always present, or you just took it for granted. You did not love your partner for who he is, as a person, but for what he does, or what need of yours she could satisfy. So when your partner says he is not in love with you any more, or that she does not love you any more, he/she probably never really did in the first place. You were only satisfying one or more of your partner’s needs and now you don’t.
Fear of losing a person is often translated into “I love him so much”. Consider that you don’t. If you did, you’d let him go. You do not need him. I know that it may sound counterintuitive, but life does not conform to what you think life should be. Life just is. You were born alone and being an adult, you do not need anyone to tell you that they love you. You are the one who is capable of loving and that’s the only way to receive love. You cannot extract love from anyone. Love is living without fear. Love disperses fear like light disperses darkness. Living in fear is like living in dark. Turn the light on and be fearless.
• Love is not a thing.
• Love is not a feeling.
• Love is a state of mind.
• Love is choice.
• The opposite of love is not hate, it is fear.
• Love is possible only where there is no fear.
• When there is fear there is no love.
• Where there is love there is NO fear, no matter what.
• Love is free.
• Love is fearless.
• When you love you cannot be afraid.
• Jesus was not afraid of dying. He loved.
• Love is opposite of fear. One cannot love and be fearful at the same time.
Practicing unconditional love requires fearlessness. You must be brave, conscious, committed, in touch of and respectful of reality and counter your knee-jerk reactions. When being in a state of unconditional love you will experience freedom like you’ve never known before, peace, tranquility, and feeling of invincibility and sense of perfection. You know that everything is just the way it should be. Experiencing unconditional love is not the same as living in an illusionary la-la land. Living an illusion is living in you own imagined world that does not represent reality. On the other hand, living in unconditional love you are keenly aware of, and accepting of reality, knowing full well that shoulds, and coulds will not change it. You realize that complaining about what already is, makes no sense and so you are free to take action now to have your future be different than present and what it was in the past, fully aware that you cannot change the past itself. Living in unconditional love is THE most powerful and fear free place you can possibly be in.
Do you have enough guts to do it? Go ahead make my day!