In the past it was common for divorce rates to spike during times of financial insecurity. Back in the recession of 1997, the divorce rate rose close to 20%. However, economists note that during really tough times, such as the Great Depression in the early 1930s, divorce rates statistically decline because people can’t afford the luxury of splitting into two separate homes, and what is also very likely is that divorce was not as common and as socially acceptable as it is today.
There are several angles we can look at this problem. The first one is a matter of
Nothing works without integrity. (You can find much more on Integrity in The Gameless Relationship ). At one point we made certain promises and declarations, like “For better or for worse” and “Till death us do part”, which we conveniently forget when times get tough. We very easily find a “reason and excuse” for breaking our promise. We make ourselves believe that these reasons are real and valid when in fact the are just a plausible story which we decided was true. Examples: He is not making enough money. It is not good for my child to live in these conditions. Or, she does not want to get a job to help out in this critical situation. This takes us to the issue of
2. Being a victim
It is so easy to take the role of a victim, just stop being responsible for anything. Give your power to others and declare that none of this has anything to do with you. Again, finding a good reason and excuse is essential. If you were honest you would discover your reasons and find many ways to justify your actions. The plain truth is that it is easier to blame others and assert your righteousness than remember that you’ve taken an oath.
3. Reason for being married.
Did you marry for a comfortable life, sex, to have children, because you “had to”, because it was “the thing to do”. These reasons somehow come up as excuses when the going gets tough and are used as excuses to walk away without considering that YOU made an unconditional promise. In other words, when you said “I do”, you lied to everyone, and most likely, to yourself as well.
Of course there are reasons, such as abuse, but very few that may actually justify abandoning marriage, but ask yourself if abuse started before the economy took a dive and you were selling out, or has it become a good reason to justify your leaving when ship is sinking.
There are a few other games people play when it comes to ditching a marriage, but these would suffice and you can think of others for yourself. The point I am making is that money is NEVER the real reason for breaking up a marriage, the above reasons are.
So, do not pass the buck and blame money (pun intended), look inside first.