The core meaning of the word relationship is to “respond completely to another, like responsibility” says Krishnamurti.
Let’s see what this really means. Responsibility, as I explain at length in my book The Gameless Relationship, is ability to respond and not merely to react. Also, most of the relationships most of the time are happen in reaction to each other. (Ref. : The Relationship Saver.) That’s why it is so easy for a relationship to go into a downward spiral without apparent hope of survival. We now also have to distinguish response from reaction. To respond is by no means same as to react. Reaction is automatic, based on our thoughts and interpretations when we are engaged in a relationship. Response is based on what actually happens, on the reality of the action, and not on our interpretation of what we saw or heard. In other words one responds to what is being said and not to one’s own meanings and interpretations to what is being said. To respond appropriately to any situations takes much more than taking the situation at the face value. First, it takes thorough understanding of your own thinking process and only then the thinking process of others. This requires thorough awareness of your actions, by being an avid observer of yourself, by being in the present moment. So, as we can see the relationships never happen in the past. So, don’t bring up the past and don’t dwell in the future, in what should and should not be. Your transformation of your relationship begins with a profound relationship with what is.
This needs practice, so, practice, practice and practice and .… practice now.